Culture Shock: Paris
by Jennifer Lamari
Today in Paris there was a fatal train accident involving a passenger.
An announcement broadcasting the delay was followed by a mad rush of annoyance,
which led to bursts of text messaging and incensed cell phone calls about
the impeding and inconvenient event.
Moments later began the vicious gnashing of teeth at ham on baguettes and a violent
glaring at half empty bottles of Orangina. Within thirty seconds of the incident
demonstrators began protesting the inability of the train authorities to remove
the body from the tracks in a timely manner.
The chanting induced a chain-smoking-reaction, which sent hundreds of people scrounging for lighters and striking matches futilely against the smooth surfaces of no smoking signs. Two minutes later, when the train began running on schedule, angry passengers threw their recently lit cigarettes into the newsstands as they dashed for the crowded trains.
Although transport was functioning normally within six minutes of the incident, hundreds of people were forced to evacuate several stations as the fires from the newsstands spread throughout the platforms and into the tunnels.
Nearly 600 people died of severe burns and smoke inhalation. Hundreds more were rushed to the hospital with critical injuries and many others are still unaccounted for.
Next Monday all banks, schools, government offices, fruit stands and bakeries will be closed to commemorate the victims of the blaze. This holiday will officially be recognized as I-don't-know-why-we-don't-work-today 9.3c.