Totally Appropriate Responses when Someone Asks: "Do You have a Moment to Spare for the Environment?"
by Wendy Atterberry

1. Ask not what you can spare for the environment; ask what the environment can spare for you!
2. Actually, I'm running low on moments, but I do have a few spare seconds I can donate.
3. I hate the environment and I wish it were dead!
4. Is that your natural hair color?
5. I'm sorry; I don't speak pig-Latin.
6. Will it make me famous?
7. I would, but the environment totally dumped me last week and now we're not talking.
8. Oh my god, were you the middle sister on Full House?
9. Look, if you want to go out with me, why don't you just say so.
10. Now, which environment are we talking about?
11. I'm sorry -- a broken parking meter just ate all my spare moments.
12. Totally! I love the environment -- I'll donate all my roll-over moments at the end of the month, how does that sound?
13. Oooooh, I'd love to, but I just sold all my moments to the devil.
14. Well, I dunno -- does it come in black?
15. You look like Harry Connick, Jr. Has anyone ever told you that before?
16. Can't -- I have cramps.